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Psychologist's Corner:
The Huge Importance of Small Talk and How to Master the Game.
by Chris Croner, PhD, psychology
Article Date: June 26, 2006
Although most early-career salespeople have the gift of gab, many find
themselves tongue-tied when they call on executive-level clients.
This seniority effect
causes a young salesperson to build up the call to be a scary meeting
where they will be judged by an authority figure. It is a point
of view that leads to a common, but big mistake: these salespeople have
trouble making "small talk."
Small talk
is the polite conversation about trivial or uncontroversial matters
that we use to warm up our conversational muscles. Without small
talk, we are like marathon runners who don't stretch before the big
race. We're in trouble! So make no mistake, there is
nothing "small" about small talk. In fact, master salespeople use
small talk to build the foundation of a strong customer
relationship. It provides crucial opportunities to bond with the customer. That is why Banter (AKA "small talk") is the third "B" of successful executive sales (the other two are Brain and Body Language, respectively).
To
illustrate the importance of small talk, consider the research
conducted by Stanford psychology professor Thomas Harrell. He
studied a group of MBA's 10 years after graduation. The most
successful grads had one trait in common: verbal fluency. They could strike up a conversation with anyone,
from strangers and colleagues to their bosses. Rest assured, at
some point, early in their careers, these MBA's found themselves in the
executive suite, and were able to bond effectively. This article
will give you three tips for creating this verbal magic.
Personal Passions
Our
first powerful small talk technique is perfect when you know you will
meet in the executive's office. The key in this situation is to
ask good questions about things in the office that allow him
to do most of the talking. Everyone's favorite topic is
themselves, most notably their personal passions. When the senior
executive reveals something about his personal passions, whether it's a
hobby or favorite sport, he has created a huge opportunity to
bond. Small talk about a personally fulfilling topic is extremely
validating: the executive will enjoy the conversation and remember you
fondly. So, here is a three-step process for elicitng these
passions:
1. Find something unique in the executive's office that relates to your personal
experiences (from a trophy to a signed baseball).
2. Ask the executive to tell you the story behind the trophy, plaque, etc.
3. After they reply, ask a good follow-up question about how long they've been
interested in this area. Then, briefly offer your similar experiences.
Although it is simple, this technique will do two things to break the ice:
1. Get them talking about a person passion.
2. Connect you to that passion -- remember, we buy from people who are
like us!
Bring Some Backup
Not
every executive will have an office full of easy clues.
Additionally, not all of your meetings will occur in the executive's
office. Some meetings will be in a neutral location, like a
boardroom. In these situations, it is important to do your
homework on the executive. Ask your colleagues or use the
Internet to find out about his interests or professional
affiliations. After you have prepared, you will have two more
techniques available:
Use the News
Read
the local newspaper for stories that might be relevant to the
executive's interests. Be sure to pick a topic that has two
qualities:
1. It is clearly relevant to the executive's interests
2. It is not controversial in nature
Say, "I saw a story in this morning's (or weekend's) paper about x [philantrhopists, golfers, fly fishing, etc.], and I thought of you."
Then ask his or her opinion about some aspect of the article.
This technique also breaks the ice, and establishes you as a
thoughtful, attentive salesperson, who thinks about his clients even
when they are not in the room.
Emphasize Your Similarities ASAP
We
like those who are similar to us. As a young professional calling
on a senior exec, there is already likely an age gap. Finding a
common bond will help you compensate for that gap. For example,
you may have graduated from the same college, enjoy hockey, or go to
the same place of worship. Make sure the similarity is real.
Use the following steps to highlight your similarities and get your client to connect you to something he already loves:
1. State the similiarity (e.g., "I noticed/heard you enjoy fly fishing. That's one of my favorite hobbies as well.").
2.
Ask 1 or 2 follow-up questions to continue the discussion (e.g., "Where
do you like to fish?"). Note any other similarities that may emerge.
3. Create an opportunity for follow-up on that issue (e.g., send him a nice hardcover copy of The Top 30 Fly Fishing Destinations.)
By
mastering each of these three techniques, you will come to your meeting
armed with the most powerful banter possible. While your peers
are nervously looking at their shoelaces and mumbling about the
weather, you will impress your prospects and clients. Most
importantly, you will psychologically reduce the gap between you and
create the foundation to a strong relationship.
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